This morning I would like to share a beautiful piece of writing my grandmother wrote and dedicated to my beloved grandfather, just over ten years ago.

It is entitled, "I Have Lived".
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I Have Lived
Many times I have said to myself… "If I were to die tomorrow, I could say, I have truly lived!"
How any one person could have squeezed so many things into one life, I'll never know.
Having been the youngest child of Anthony H. O'Brate and Sarah Elizabeth "Sadie" Payne, born on June 20th, 1922; and having five older brothers, Merrill, Albert, Howard, Elmer, and John, I could play ball before I could eat with a fork. I must have been terrible spoiled, because though our family was quite poor, I knew nothing but complete security. Even through the years of the depression, I never knew what it was like to be really hungry. If there was nothing else, there was always bread and gravy; and I liked it. Never, though, were we without love and security.
I remember one time when it was considered dangerous to consume anything from a recently opened can! When mother's back was turned though, I drank a spoonful of pineapple juice and went out behind the house to die: but I lived.
I also remember many winter evenings spent playing cards; always at our house with the neighbor kids and Mother and Daddy playing with us. Sunday afternoons in the summer we spent playing baseball. With our boys, Daddy, and a few neighbor kids, there was enough for a team. They called themselves the R.A.R.'s; any member of our family could tell you what this stood for. (The Ragged Ass Ramblers) Then too, there were basketball games. My brother played and I played some; always were our parents there, but usually several neighbor kids whose parents didn't go. I guess I never knew what it was like to do anything without my family being there. We usually were late coming to all events because mother and all of us kids were ready to go, Daddy would still have to shave. When we finally got in the car, we would still have to wait for Daddy to fill his pipe, light his match, then the pipe, and then get into the car. As I say, by that time we were already late! How very frustrated we would all be, but without our easy-going, level headed father, how could so many O'Brates have made it through?
Education began at a very early age for me, almost by accident really. We were a farm family and the size of schools in those days varied from very small to quite large. In our community we only have 3 students of school age…2 of those were my brother and one little first grade girl. Although I was barely 4 years old, the teacher asked if I'd like to come to be with the other little girl. My parents really didn't care and felt that probably I would soon lose interest anyway, so they gave their consent. I'm quite sure they didn't realize that most of the next 40 years of their little girls' life would be associated with a classroom. I dearly loved school—every part of it. Most of all, I think I loved my teachers. They always have such soft hands and pretty dresses; how I enjoyed games in grade school where we held hands and I got to be next to the teacher. My high school days were spent in a rather small high school in Oklahoma. I graduated Salutatorian in a class of 17, at the early age of 15. Entirely too young to know what life was about or where I was going; but never the less, there I was. Up to this point in my life, I guess I really didn't know what heartache was; I didn't even know there could be clouds! Not that my family shielded me or protected me and I was sure there were many struggles I didn't know existed. I just loved life!
After high school graduation came the realization of what was next. There was very little money, but somehow my parents came through. I'm sure the entire family must have sacrificed for how else could I have been so privileged. I had no idea what I wanted to be or what my goal was. I don't guess teaching had really ever entered my mind, though as an 8th grader, the teacher let me work with the first graders in phonics and when I was in high school, I had substituted some in the lower grades. As I think back, teaching must really have been my goal, I just didn't realize it. Again, a particular English teacher stands out in my mind—only this one always wore pretty hose and apparently a taffeta slip, for she always rustled when she walked.
Something else that stands out as I think back was a bit of philosophy my mother wrote in my autograph book, "Always do your best, angels can do no better".
My next few years were spent in college, a new experience for me in many ways. For the first time, there were girls! These in the form of roommates and they were terrific; so much fun and so many new experiences. I lived from day to day without a worry or care, evidently believing that somewhere there was a Supreme Being who would always take care of me!
Just a year from graduating college came the opportunity to teach that I couldn't resist. I didn't really believe it was the salary that enticed me for it was only $85 per month. However, the thoughts of working with 20 3rd and 4th graders really gave me a thrill and so there I was. I wondered and secretly hoped my students felt about me the way I had felt about some of my teachers.
In the spring of 1944, my dad realized a goal of his…to come to western Kansas from Oklahoma and farm on a big scale. Fortunately he chose a perfect time to make the change for he had a good crop for the first year, and we were there to stay. This change was rather difficult for my mother, leaving all her friends and family in Oklahoma, but she survived. In fact, we even got stuck when we turned off on the dirt road north of Kendall, Kansas to go to our new home. We spent the night in the loaded truck before we could get help. My dad always said he thought he was going to a dry country, but "it was the wettest damn country he'd ever been in".
In the fall of 1944, I began teaching in Manter, Kansas. I stayed with a family that's wife's brother came over for dinner one day (which I incidentally cooked). He made the remark that whenever he could find someone who could cook as well as his mother; he was going to marry her! Though we married in 1945, he has not to this day admitted I could cook that well.
We married in Syracuse, Kansas September 7, 1945. We built our outhouse the next day. Our house was a basement, which had filled with blow dirt. After we cleaned it out and roofed it, we lived in it for a few years, and then put down a new basement where we lived until 1975. During this time, we farmed for Wilson Denney of Liberal Kansas.
After teaching two years in Manter, Kansas, we moved to Baca County, Colorado, where I began teaching at a rural school. In those days, if people found out that one could teach, they would immediately come for you, for teachers were not easily found then. From then on, I taught in the country school then in Two Buttes, Springfield, and in Wash, Colorado. In Walsh, I spent 17 years and I can honestly say I loved all my 27 years of teaching. In the meantime, we became parents of five children…Connie in 1949, Ray Don in 1951, Trudy 1953, Donna 1958, and Kyle in 1964.
We were a very busy family…we could live on what I made teaching and began to accumulate some land of our own. We were able to move into our own home in 1975, though we continued to farm for Denney. By this time our children were beginning to leave home for college and marriage. Soon Kyle was the only one still at home. Trudy recently remarked, "Mom, you promised us you'd drown him in the horse tank, and you still haven't done it."
During this time, drugs came into view and our son, Ray Don, became involved. He had married and had a son, but that marriage failed; later, he remarried and had two daughters who loved him dearly, but again his marriage failed. In 1996 his rough life caught up with him and he was found expired in Denver; fortunately, not from suicide, just a worn out life. This was a real blow to our family, but we had done all we could. Death isn't always the worst thing that can happen and at least he is at peace!
The rest of us have continued with our busy lives. Our oldest daughter, Connie, is graduating from Medical Assistant Training soon and she has 2 children. Trudy is a teacher and had 2 children—she is a very good disciplinarian both in her classroom and at home! Donna is a very efficient CPA living in Greeley with her dog Ziggy and 2 cats. Kyle finished college with a degree in agriculture and makes a really good father for Marissa. I have only one brother left, but many nieces and nephews of which I am very fond.
Which brings us to the present with my husband and me; though we are in our senior years, our lives have slowed down considerably. We are without farm animals except for our dog and a cat, and our land is rented out; so we are just caring for each other and living life one day at a time. At present, I am 81 years of age. As I told the kids…"Sometimes, Dad and I hold hands and the rest is none of your business."
I can truly say, "I have lived".
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Since this look into an extraordinary woman's life, she continued her legacy in the Walsh Healthcare Center for over ten years; some of which she shared with her beloved husband, EJ Christiansen. As anyone at the Healthcare Center and they'll be quick to tell you what an ornery character she was, always involved in activities and kept everyone in line.
Her legacy will live on in her collection of books: Goodies and Guess What's, More Goodies and Guess What's, and Trinkets and Treasures.
Helen passed quietly away Saturday morning, February 15th, 2014. She is preceded in death by her parents, five brothers, husband EJ Christiansen, and son, Ray Don. She will be lovingly remembered by her son Kyle, daughters Connie, Trudy, and Donna, grandchildren Kim, Bryan, Jamie, Alisha, Marissa, Kenzie, Bric, and Marissa; as well as 6 great grandchildren.
All these family members will fondly remember her with the following bedtime prayer:
Goodnight, sleep tight,
Wake up bright, in the morning light,
To do what's right, with all your might,
Goodnight.